You, looking in the mirror criticizing every mark, lump & roll …
You, who cancels plans with family because you’re afraid of the shame you’ll face …
You, who has plans and dreams that have been on hold for years, waiting until you feel good enough …
You, who cries at night because another day has passed without making the changes you want …
You, who pushed everyone away because you just needed to be (( alone )) and now you sit in your alone, hating it, afraid to reach out for help ….
You, who has a calling from God greater than you could ever imagine but the negative self talk in your head makes too much noise to hear or follow the calling ….
You, who feels that things are too far gone to ever possibly make a change or follow your dreams ….
I must start by asking you, what would change if instead of going over and over all the reasons why you feel you’ll never succeed day after day… what if you asked yourself *why can’t I *. See, we always seem to ask *how can I * followed by a list a mile long of all the obstacles. A question, are they true obstacles or does the goal itself seem so impossible that fear sets in, negative self talk sets in, shame from previous attempts sets in. These are emotions and although real in their power of being able to hold us back, they are not always the legit barriers that we believe them to be. When we ask ( why can’t I ) we flip the conversation to get down to the real details of it all. Think of a top goal ( go ahead, think of it now ) grab a pen and paper and write down what stops you from reaching it. Here are some things a person may write down who want to live a healthier life and my personal reflection on each.
* I’ve tried before many times and just can’t *
Really ? Does faitl ing many times really mean we can’t do something ? If so, how is it that Nick Vujicic born with no legs and arms, can fish, swim, play around with a soccer ball, cuddle and love his wife and babies with a list that goes on and on. Do you think Nick spends his time asking ( how can I ) OR ( why can’t I ) I’m willing to bet that Nick doesn’t spend a lot of time adding up all the reasons why he can’t do something but yet asking… WHY CAN’T I and than putting in the work to find / create a way with faith as his strong foundation.
* Everyone in my family is like this *
What if everyone in your family is fighting the same battle, what if no one has asked why can’t I ? Just because no one has overcome yet, does that really mean no one will ever be able to ? Think of ALL the people, those who are the 1st in their family to graduate from high school or college. If they asked ( how can I ) they would look at ALL the family who haven’t reached this goal previous and decide it was impossible but if they ask ( why can’t I ) they have a conversation within them self based on their own wants, abilities and dreams. There is ONLY one you and YOU are like no one else !
* I don’t have time *
Do we have time to die ? Yes, I spelled that out pretty blunt but remember friends, I’m not an outsider, trying to understand how you feel – I know how you feel, I’m on my own lifelong health journey. We are either living a life that gives us life or a life that takes life away. Not MAKING time today, takes time away later and takes away moments and memories now !
* It costs too much *
Instead of getting into explaining how we often save money eating healthier because we eat less and therefor have money for other things like gym memberships or coaching … I’ll just ask, what would you pay for the gift of life and what’s the ( cost ) of not investing in you ?
* I’m alone and have no support *
First, I’m sorry you feel this way (( hugs )) please know I’m sitting here now writing this for YOU, I may not know you to see but you are very much on my heart now and I care about you !!
Do you know that Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison ? Do you know in 1985 he was offered release but declined based on principle. To be released, he would have had to go against what he was fighting for and he knew that going against his heart would be real prison, where he would be really alone. Nelson Mandela continued to make an impact, inspire people and the world in a prison, alone, because in there, he was NOT alone…. following his higher purpose, living the life he felt called to do, he carried many with him.
You can never know how your world will open up when you decide to live your life on purpose with passion and meaning !!
Although I know we do not all believe the same, I have to include this
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
You are NOT alone my friend !!
* I’m paralyzed in fear *
If you look up ( fear ) you’ll see it says that fear is an emotional response induced by a (( perceived )) threat. Did you catch the key word there ?! (( perceived ))
Helen Keller became deaf & blind by her second birthday (1882) so think of the lack of resources at this time! Can you imagine her life had she let fear tell her who she was ? Something in her asked ( why can’t I ) this allowed her to learn how to read and write. She was the 1st deaf & blind person to gain a bachelors degree. She contributed greatly to social issues and made a difference & still does today.
* I’m not good enough *
Words are weapons and we believe what we hear over and over. If your inside dialogue constantly tells you, you’re not good enough, guess what you believe ?! If this is you, tell me, show me the proof ( really I want you to contact me today and show me the proof ) I’m not worried about being overcome with email responses because the truth is, there is not one thing you could ever show me that would make me believe that you’re not good enough. I don’t need to know you to know you’re highly worthy !
Job 42:2 ” I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted” .
* Did you grow up in awful circumstances *
Here I go, reaching out with another (( hug )) But please know the broken can be mended, the broken can also mend others. Do you hear me ?!? YOU have something special because you know broken, you can speak to the broken, you know the language. This all has to start by knowing deep down inside that broken doesn’t have to define you. BROKEN does not need to define you I shout extending another hug. You have experienced broken but you are SO much more. Ask yourself now (why can’t I ) what are the real reasons ? Fear ? We talked about that above … Shame ? Shame us ugly, it makes you feel ugly inside, shame tells you, you can’t, it places chains around you but do you know that you feed your own shame ? Decide to release fear and tell shame it no longer had a place in YOU!
YOU are special, YOU are valuable, YOU are worthy and you CAN reach your goals!
I tell you, I pray with you and for you that you need to believe and know this and maybe asking yourself deeply and honestly ( why can’t I ) will be the catalyst you needed to start today !
In light, love & faith
- Much of my heath / wellness journey to date | Sara Bown
- Some of my favorite good energy music !