What’s Really Holding You Back ?

Who has spent more time ” wishing ” you could be working towards goals over actually working towards your goals ?

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Thank you to all who shared how they were doing a little more ” wishing ” over ” doing ”  when it comes to reaching certain life goals. I appreciate the honesty it takes in leaving a reply along with the courage.
So first, this is a topic I love ! Much of why I love the coaching work I do, is because it always amazes me how working towards mastering a few new skills can completely change our lives. This is a topic I get and that I’m passionate about because I spent years ” wishing ” wishing for different goals and the most amazing thing happened – once I really got it, I didn’t have to pick and choose which goals to work towards and which goals to let go of because what was important became apparent.
I remember well the feeling of waking up ” wanting to do certain things ” and those things truly consuming my mind all day until I went to bed disappointed in myself at night for not accomplishing my desire. Why didn’t I just stop wishing and do ?!  Well, that’s the question isn’t it. Ask yourself the same – why are you willing to spend so much time wishing and focused on self disappointment over doing ?
Did you ask yourself ? Come up with anything ? From being on my own journey, I think a lot of times it comes down to fear, fear of what we feel will need to change and fear of the unknown. If wanting to lose weight, do you really want to drop 20 lbs YES do you want to make all the needed changes ? NO !
Sometimes, we are much better at saying what we don’t want over what we do want and we create an action plan in our mind that makes us not want to put in the work even more. For example, We don’t want to stay where we currently are weight wise, however, we also don’t want to give up certain foods, we don’t want to live a life where we feel every aspect is restricted, we don’t want to workout…We say to self ” for you to be successful, the future has to suck to get better ” in simple words…. When what each of us should be doing is saying … ” ok, so I want to live an amazing life each day, each day I just want to feel excited and energetic towards the possibilities…I know I don’t have to be perfect, to be successful, I need to come up with a plan that works for me, that makes sense, and that makes my journey FUN ! ”  Who wants to start loving life at the end of reaching a goal when the GOAL could be creating a life where the joy was in the journey !
With my own journey and when coaching clients , what I work to do is change the thinking..I know some of us don’t always want to change or challenge our thinking, again that fear aspect can comes into play but remember if we aren’t willing to try or do anything new, why would we expect to have a different outcome ?

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To someone who has never suffered from a food addiction, they may think it’s crazy for a person who is addicted to chips to feel REAL anxiety over just the thought of not being able to eat them anymore – To someone who has never known what it feels like to experience paralyzing fear in going out into the public they may not understand how hard it is to just open the door. My point is, we don’t always understand the why, but not understanding it, does not make it not real to that person and it’s important for people feeling such emotions to know the same because often, the people we turn to, to comfort us or help us cannot relate and therefor we are left feeling let down / lost again as they give advise that make us feel broken, it’s most times not intentional but we tend to not know what we don’t know. We need to STOP wishing and realize the constant roller coaster ride wishing has us on. If we haven’t truly commit to change, our internal dialogue tells us something completely untrue –  it tells us that we have tried over and over with never being successful, it say’s you CAN’T, you WONT, why bother but unless we challenge the thinking, we haven’t really given our all.
The bottom line is, if you have spent more time wishing on a goal over doing – I want you to seriously ask yourself if it matters to you, does it truly matter ? What are truly willing to do, not in words but in actions ? What would it mean to reach this goal and how will it change your life for the positive ? When fear sets in over things you may have to change or adjust, ask yourself why are you so willing to fight against needed change so you can stay living in a place of constantly feeling defeated / unsuccessful.   Change your thinking….one step at a time, progress not perfection – open your mind, get creative, there IS a way to reach your goals, the real question is, are you willing to put in the work, are you willing to leave your comfort zone not as punishment bur rather as a reward, so you can reach goals that otherwise seemed impossible.
I’ll give one more example…TIME….one of the top reasons people have for not being able to reach goals !  When being fully honest with self, how much time, do you spend a day wishing you were living your goals, zoned out, uninspirded, lacking in passion and self belief ? Take away the ” I can’t because ” and replace it with ” I will and this is how ”

EASY ? No, if it were easy, millions of people wouldn’t feel stuck but I am here to tell you, it IS possible, You CAN reach your goals and it all begins in challenging your thinking ~ Sara Bown

 

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4 thoughts on “What’s Really Holding You Back ?

  1. Rachelle

    Just my 2 cents but I also think that planning scares us (me) because I know 1 way to get from point A to point B and it may as well be a leap over the Grand Canyon. When we plan things out in our head, we forget the baby steps. We also forget that there is more than 1 way to get there and that sometimes an unconventional way is the best way. The other day I heard a quote that said (I’m paraphrasing) Everything is the same from theory to practice, in theory. In practice it is all different. I think that once we make it to the practice / action stage, we find that it’s all about baby steps, missteps, changes along the way… it also is about patience and time. <3

  2. Angela Brady

    Now that I am finished crying…I can honestly say I haven’t ever had someone put into words what runs through my head every day…”it tells us that we have tried over and over with never being successful, it say’s you CAN’T, you WONT, why bother”. I have lost all faith in myself to even set a small goal. I know it’s all up to me but I just don’t trust me anymore. Does that make sense? (Tears again) I feel so broken, beyond repair. That’s so sad. It may not sound like it but I really appreciate everything you wrote. I really felt your compassion. I don’t even know how to take the first step…for the one thousandth time.

What do you think ?


ღ Sara Bown - Published Speaker & Certified LIFE coach
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