Why I work hard with all my heart to embrace every moment as a mother, even the ” pull my hair out of my head moments ”
It was like most summer mornings, I woke up early and the house was silent, all you could hear was the buzzing of the fans left on all night. Outside, the wind was blowing in the trees, the yard was already busy with summer bugs and birds…..majestic ! Within moments, one of the dogs heard I was up, which signaled our other dog, which woke our boys and within moments, the quiet turned into what I can imagine happens when a director says ACTION !! I had to smile and laugh because I remembered when school went back last summer and how the house went from the ACTION level 24 / 7 to completely quiet and how I missed all the action and how quiet can be nice for 5 minutes but after that, who needs quiet…Ok, 30 minutes can be nice from time to time.
Thinking it over, within a blink of an eye, our boys will grow, move out and start their own family and the house will be void of their little, loud voices and rambunctious ways, things will stay clean and tidy longer without imprints left all over as a constant reminder of memory building, life being enjoyed in our home …just typing this places an ache and sadness in my heart making me want to turn into crazy mom, running and giving my boys some hugs and kisses ( oh what the heck, they know I’m crazy, I’ll be back )
Come the afternoon, I was working outside, expecting a baby in November, I am careful to take my time and rest when needed..meaning I am constantly, in and out of house. My 7 year old has taken to be very aware of where mommy is, wanting to make sure I am safe and mark it down, 5 seconds after the door closes behind me, I will hear ” MOMMY….WHERE ARE YOU ” and it’s best if he sees me when he opens the door, otherwise the dogs get involved and are barking at his calling out. I remember taking a deep breath at around the 5th time ” I am here Joshua….mommy is fine and I am not going anywhere ” that’s all he needed and he was off happy as a lark. As I left the house for the yard around the 6th time, I hear nothing, not a voice, not a dog, not a nothing and my heart felt sad, in that moment, I missed the amazing awesome caring side of my son, the side that reminds me he is only 7 and that I am important and needed…THANK THE LORD, he was just in the bathroom and missed me going out and thus the production was only delayed 🙂
As parent’s, we never know when the last of anything will be, things that seem in the moment to possibly drive us crazy like the never ending ” why ” ” why if ” ” have you ” ” can I ” ” why not ” wha cha doing “, the running up and kissing with chocolate 5 seconds after you are finally clean, the cuddles in bed, the want of a bed time story, holding hands, asking if friends can come over, shopping for clothes, whatever it may be…I really work hard to make sure that every time is taken in, filed away and absorbed, just in case it’s the last time. Like all of us, I know I am not perfect at this and in truth, I have found that the more perfect I try to be, the more I fall on my face but if I ever wanted to be perfect at anything, truly GREAT, this would be it, because it would mean to be present, truly involved in every moment and what better gift can you give those you love, than letting them know they have someone who truly, deeply cares, this is something I want to give all those I love. I work at it and constantly add to my memory file because I know a day will come when in the quiet, I will want to sit and reflect on the files, smile, laugh, cry, just remember and be thankful to God.
The amazing thing is, as parents, our children may grow, they may move, they may act like they don’t need us but times will always come where they need us maybe a fraction as much as we need them . In those moments, like all others, as they were growing up, I will want to cherish them, even if it’s helping them eat because they spent all their money on video games. For in that moment, I am MOM, I am needed and I get to fill the most AMAZING role I could have ever been entrusted and blessed with <3 So thankful for my best friend and husband as together, we are blessed with our children and together we work daily at this most special job !
Sometimes, I am also blessed to be needed as an older sister, to younger siblings I love with ALL my heart <3
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- We never know how long we have so make the time TODAY !